Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 4 - Special Travel Edition

-Why don’t we tip airplane pilots on commercial flights? We tip taxi drivers. Flying a plane is significantly harder than driving. I can drive a car. I can’t fly a plane. I’m not saying we should start tipping pilots or stop tipping drivers – just wondering why this is the way society is.

-Everyone’s default mood at the airport is to just be mad at each other. You get mad at people taking long going through security. You get mad when people cut you as you’re boarding the plane. You get mad at the person next to you on the plane if they’re taking your armrest. You get mad when someone from a row behind you rushes to deboard the plane before you. You’re just always mad.

-Speaking of, if I were ever to get in a fight, that’s when it would be. Deboarding a plane, when some asshole behind you decides to not wait his turn, and cuts in front of you before you can get up and grab your stuff from the overheard. Makes me irrationally angry. I’d make a snide comment like, “in a big rush, buddy?” I think people around me would have my side

-When I’m at the airport and see someone trying to cut security or rush to their gate so they don’t miss their flight, I root against them and think “You should have gotten here earlier.”

-If I was a homeless person, I would save up enough to buy one cheap plane ticket and some decent clothes. I’d go through security and get to my gate but never go on the plane. I’d just sleep at different gates in the airport. If confronted, I’d say that I have a layover. People with long layovers are like the homeless people of airports.

-When I was younger, I loved hotels so much that I used to kiss every item before checking out. I’d say “bye hotel” and kiss the different items around the room. I was like 4 not 16. In retrospect, that was pretty gross, and I’d never do it now as a germaphobe.

-If you stand up on a plane when the “seatbelt on” sign is lit up, literally nothing happens. I get up all the time to pee and feel like a total badass.

-I hate when the person in front of me on the plane moves their seat back. Then I also need to put my seat back for room. But the person behind me may not know the person in front of me originally put his back. So I’m just the one who looks like an asshole infringing on their space.

-When my Uber driver drops me off at the airport, I try to rush out to the trunk and grab my bags by myself. Don’t want the obligation to give him a bigger tip for helping with the bags, when I’m very capable of getting them myself.

-I bet airport bathrooms are some of the most used bathrooms in the world for poops. Nobody wants to go on the plane. So if you feel even the slightest poop coming on, you’re going to go before boarding.

-My favorite thing to do on a flight is just watch the flight tracker. I watch it like I’m watching a TV show. It’s mesmerizing.

-I saw a Verizon billboard that said “Verizon – Best In Atlanta. Best Where It Matters.” I bet they put that sign in every city. Seems disingenuous.

-Baggage claim needs way better security. Anyone can just grab anyone’s bag and walk out. Some airports check, but most don’t. I’m surprised more people don’t just steal luggage. Maybe there is some hope left for humanity after all.

Thank you for your time.